Dear Aaron
by ihli
Summary: A gunshot rang out, a lung was punctured. The survivors must pick up the pieces. Spencer must go on, for Jack. H/R established relationship
1. Chapter 1

**A/N **

**Title:** **Dear Aaron**

**Author:** **Ihli**

**Rating/Warnings:** ** M/Angst, Slash**

**Pairing:** **Hotch/Reid**

**Summary: A gunshot rang out, a lung was punctured. The survivors must pick up the pieces. Spencer must go on, for Jack. H/R established relationship**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters I just like to play with them sometimes. I promise to put them back where I found them.**

**Hello All, some stories are hard to write, every word must be extracted like a recalcitrant wisdom tooth. Some stories just flow, they demand all attention until they are completed. This story made me write it. It held me in front of the keyboard typing away until it was complete. **

**It could be set in either my Reality TV universe or in my Halloween Extravaganza universe. It's a four shot. I hope you enjoy the journey.**

**Thanks to RogueStorm84 and The Shameless BookWorm for Beta'ing this chapter! All mistakes are mine.**

Dear Aaron

Chapter 1

**August 12, 2012**

Dear Aaron,

It's been two weeks, fourteen days, since you were…were shot. The bullet punctured your lung, and you died on the table. It's been twelve days since we laid you to rest. At least we'd finished the paperwork. Jack is legally my son. It would have killed me if they had taken him, too.

He clutched my hand as we stood at the graveside and watched them lower your casket into the ground. I wanted to break down right there, fall to my knees and weep. I wanted to run and find a dealer, push the needle in and feel the sweet bliss while drowning my sorrows in Dilaudid.

But I didn't. One thing kept me going. Our son needed me. I'm all he has. He's my only connection to you. So I stood strong. Then I picked him up, turned, and walked away.

We will grieve together.

I am writing this letter, and I plan to write more because the therapist from the FBI mandatory grief counseling has convinced me it will be cathartic. Also, it makes it feel like you are less gone. I write to my mother every day. She is there where I can reach her. Now I can pretend you are in such a place, at least once in a while.

I have decided to leave the FBI and take a teaching job at Harvard. It will be hard to leave the team, but it would also have been hard to stay. They grieve for you too and the brunt of their good intentions falls on me.

But mostly, I am leaving for Jack. I know what it means to have a parent leave you. Jack has had that twice now. It's enough. I will take a job where he knows I'm coming home at night, every night. No more danger, no more bad guys.

I miss you more than I know how to process. I miss your smile as you gaze upon Jack. I miss seeing your face drawn tight, head thrown back, as you climax. I even miss your Death Glare when we are on a case.

I love you,  
>Spencer<p>

**Oct 8, 2012**

Dear Aaron,

A funny thing happened today. Well, not funny really, more irritating and sad. Part of why I chose Harvard was because it was in Massachusetts, a place where gay marriage is legal. I guess I sort of pretend that we moved here together and got married. I know. Silly.

I got called into Jack's school. He got in a fight with one of the other boys. I asked him what happened.

"He asked me why I had a different last name than you dad."

I didn't ask why Jack had shared that. It wasn't important.

"What did you say Jack?"

"I said, 'Hotchner was my other dad's name.' He said, 'You have two dads?' I said, 'I did but now I only have one.' He said, 'That's weird.' So I hit him."

I wondered if homophobia was rearing its ugly head. I spoke with the teacher, and she said she would speak with the other student's parents.

I tried to imagine how you would handle this. I talked about how he needed to use his words. Violence was only for self-defense. I told him how we didn't care if the boy thought having two dads was weird. We knew the truth.

I told him I would write to you. He knows about these letters. He said "Oh good, he'll take care of everything in heaven."

I felt a tear spill from my eye. I wish I had his certainty that you have moved on to a better place. I wish I knew that you would be waiting there for me.

I hugged our boy tight and said, 'I knew you would always do everything you could to protect us.'

I hope I did okay.

Love,  
>Spencer<p>

**March 10, 2015**

Dear Aaron,

Today was a difficult day. I had tons of students come to office hours, but none of the ones I told you about. You remember, the ones in danger of failing. I get so frustrated. I don't know how to reach them. These are all smart kids. They wouldn't be here if they weren't. But they get stuck in their own worlds and don't get the help they need.

Was I ever like that? I know, you're laughing now. Of course I was. If I wasn't, I would have come to you for help when I was addicted to Dilaudid.

Sometimes, late at night, I imagine you are with me, just holding me. I miss that as much as the sex. I still miss the Death Glare. It was comforting somehow. It was part of you.

Jack misses you, too, but he is doing well in fourth grade. He has made a few friends but still likes to keep to himself. He is a quiet kid, and I know he is afraid to trust. He thinks that if he gets close to someone they will leave him. I am not exactly a great role model for social interaction, and I'm still dealing with abandonment issues.

Am I doing the right things for our son? I have to make so many decisions for him. Am I giving him the right advice? I wish you were here so we could discuss these things. I know you would know what to do to help him know he is safe. I hoped my leaving the FBI would do it.

Love,

Spencer

**July 12, 2017**

Dear Aaron,

You'll never guess who I saw today. Derek Morgan and JJ.

They were in town for a case. They just finished and stopped in to say hi before flying back to Quantico.

Remember, Morgan took over the team after you…left.

Rossi has retired again. He met wife number four on a book tour, and they say he is happy.

Kevin finally made Penelope an "honest woman," JJ's words. Morgan says she was all excited about, his words, "Some opto something computer which just makes her that much more magical." I tried not to laugh. I assume he means the new Optronic Processor. It is a pretty impressive piece of technology.

Prentiss took over another team. JJ says she whipped them into shape. JJ showed me picture of Henry, he has gotten so big and little Flora, her daughter, has too.

I wonder what it would have been like if we had a daughter or a sibling for Jack. I wonder if I should adopt so he has a play mate. But, I am barely able to parent one child. No matter how many books I read on parenting, I never feel like I get it right.

All my Love,  
>Spencer<p>

**Feb 17, 2018**  
>Dear Aaron,<p>

Please don't be upset. Actually, I know you won't be. I think I actually wish you would be a little.

I went on a date. Her name is Brenda Farham. She is a visiting professor from Oxford. She has asked me to go to dinner several times. She is a professor of psychology and is world renowned for her research into abnormal psych.

She said she wanted to pick my brain about some of our old cases that have been de-classified recently, but even I could see the pretense. We could have done that in the office.

Anyways, I finally gave in. Jack said I needed to make more friends. How could I argue? I am always telling him that.

We went to Sandrines in Cambridge, a lovely French restaurant.

Brenda was nice enough, but maybe I'm really not bisexual because she just didn't do it for me. I knew she was pretty. Several other men in the restaurant gave "the look." But, at night's end when she invited me up to her apartment, I just didn't want to go. I knew what would be expected and I just couldn't.

Maybe I'm just not ready. I still think too much about you.

When I got into bed, I let myself remember, really remember. I don't let myself indulge in that too often, but tonight I needed to.

I closed my eyes and imagined you were here with me, your lips on mine. At first, I remembered how they would feather softly over mine and then press harder, opening, becoming more demanding. Then I would feel your tongue thrusting in, taking. I felt myself get hard just from the memory.

I had a real, live, attractive, interested woman in front of me and nothing. Now, I was rock hard, just picturing the feel of your hands on me. I reached between my legs and took my cock, imagining it was your hand. I couldn't help it. I started thrusting into the circle of your fingers. It didn't take long because I don't indulge often. I came, calling your name. It felt so odd to hear it out loud. I don't speak it often either, and I know why.

I was still convulsing on the bed from the pleasure when the crash hit. I curled into the fetal position, my own fluids spilling onto the sheets, and I cried.

I can't do this. How can I live a life without you? But I knew that I didn't matter here, not anymore. Jack needs me. So I put away thoughts of Dilaudid; I put away thoughts of joining you in oblivion.

I cleaned up the mess I made and I closed my eyes. Sleep didn't come so I got up to write to you.

Sorry I don't have something happy to say.

Love,  
>Spencer<p>

**Nov 23, 2019**

Dear Aaron,

I am in so much trouble. I've seen the signs but I was in denial. I can't deny it any longer. Jack is entering puberty. What am I going to do?

He's just started to grow hair, everywhere. And today…today he checked out a girl. I know you are laughing. But he did. He stared right at her. I could see his eyes travel from her head to her toes pausing on her developed chest; his lips parted; his breathing quickened.

I'm not ready for this. Puberty was horrible for me. I was in college surrounded by adults while I was still seen as a child. I started to have wants but no one to explore them with. Perhaps I was lucky. I couldn't get into trouble; no one would join me.

But Jack, he has your solid good looks. I've seen the girls (why are the girls always ahead?) looking at him, speculating. He isn't even in high school yet, and I already have to worry about pregnancies?

But I did what I had to do. I have never seen Jack so red before; he looked like an apple or maybe a beet.

I explained it to him. How babies are made. Why babies should not be made until much, much later. How if he was going to experiment with girls, he needed to at least be safe. How if he wanted to experiment with boys, I would certainly understand, but again, he needed to be safe.

I even gave him a package of condoms to re-enforce the issue. I said that I thought he was too young to use them, but I wanted him to have them for when he did need them.

The whole time he looked a bit nauseous. I know I felt nauseous. I kept going off on tangents: histories of sexual education, details of the biology, all of it. Yes, I hear you laughing again.

Finally, I talked about the feelings and emotions. About love. At first, this part was hard. I am no expert here. I talked a bit about the psychology, and I could tell I was losing him. So, I opened that carefully contained memory I have of our time together, and I spoke from the heart.

I told him how sex at its best was the consummation of love between two people. It was more than meeting physical needs. It was a physical joining of two souls that were already together. I said, 'When I was with your father, it was the most perfect feeling. It was special in a way that I doubt I will ever feel again. We were a part of each other, joined in every way.' I wiped a tear from my eye after that, and he hugged me.

He asked some good questions about the details. I felt like I did the right thing. I hope I didn't overwhelm him with information. In the end, I felt close to our son. I had passed a parenting milestone.

Wish you were here to share,  
>Spencer<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **

**Title:** **Dear Aaron**

**Author:** **Ihli**

**Rating/Warnings:** ** M/Angst, Slash**

**Pairing:** **Hotch/Reid**

**Summary: A gunshot rang out, a lung was punctured. The survivors must pick up the pieces. Spencer must go on, for Jack. H/R established relationship**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters I just like to play with them sometimes. I promise to put them back where I found them.**

**Hello All, **

**Thanks for all of the reviews. They make me want to keep writing! This is chapter 2 of 4. Please review.**

**Thanks to RogueStorm84 and The Shameless BookWorm for Beta'ing this chapter! All mistakes are mine.**

Chapter 2

**August 26, 2020**

Dear Aaron,

Jack started high school today. How is this possible? I still see the little boy I held on my hip. But, before me was a young adult, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, backpack slung over one shoulder, filled with notebooks, crisp sharpened pencils, and his laptop.

I think the notebooks and pencils were because he indulged me. I suspect only the laptop will see actual use. But that's okay.

I watched from the window as the bus came, and he got on. He already had his schedule memorized. He knew where he was going. I could see him thrumming with excitement and nerves.

Our little boy is growing up too fast. It's all happening before my eyes.

Love always,

Spencer

**Oct 9, 2021**

Dear Aaron,

Save me. Jack is out on his first date. With a girl. A real, live girl. Are you laughing at me thinking it's better than a dead one? That's not funny Aaron.

I'm a nervous wreck! Are they safe? Did they stick to the itinerary they planned? Should I call him? I know I shouldn't, but I desperately want to. Wasn't I the guy who caught unsubs? Oh God, what if an unsub is out there, stalking them right now? What if he gets her pregnant?

Her name is Amy. She is in his math class. I approve of math class. They are with another couple, Stuart and Tina. Stuart has a car. They are going to dinner and a movie. I wonder if I will smell her perfume on him.

I am supposed to be working on a research paper, but I can't concentrate. It's getting late.

Shit! I hear the door. I better get back to the paper, or he will know I worried.

Okay, it went fine. He likes her. They kissed. He promises to go slow and be safe.

Love,

Spencer

**January 28, 2023**

Dear Aaron,

The worst part about having a son with a girlfriend is that he has actually started nagging me to date. He says, 'You have needs, you're only 42. Go get laid. Dad will understand.'

I used that as an opportunity to ascertain that our son is still a virgin. He said they "experimented" but were saving that. No need to risk pregnancy. I was relieved and horrified to imagine.

Anyways, he was relentless. There is this guy at the gun club. Yes, I kept my certification up. I knew you would want that. Who knows if some old unsub would seek retribution against me or against our son.

So this guy, Aiden, he kept asking me out, and I finally said yes. He was handsome in that tall, dark way that you had mastered. He's a cop in Boston so we had that to talk about. It was nice talking about my FBI days in a way that wasn't academic.

It felt odd talking to someone younger. When I was in the FBI, I was usually the junior one.

When he brought me home, I let him kiss me good night. It felt nice to have actual lips touch mine for a moment. But then it just felt wrong. He wasn't you. No one is.

I thanked him for the evening and went inside.

I don't know if I'll see him again, maybe, but just as friends. When you have met your soul mate, no one else will do.

Love,

Spencer

**April 20, 2024**

Dear Aaron,

Jack is at his prom. When did he get old enough to go to the prom? He is with Amanda. I think I told you about her. She is smart and funny. They are going off to different colleges, so I doubt it will last.

You should have seen him in his Tuxedo, corsage box in hand. He looked so handsome. He looks a lot like you now with your height, your build. His face isn't so tense though; he doesn't have the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I won't see him until tomorrow because there is prom, after party, and then a hotel room. I am assured there will be four couples in the room. I should be worried, but I'm not. He's a good kid. He's responsible.

I don't plan on getting much sleep tonight.

Love,

Spencer

**June 22, 2024**

Dear Aaron,

Jack graduated high school today. I sat in the audience and watched him make his way to the podium to give his valedictory speech. I felt such pride. I had done it. I had parented our son through high school. He was off to Harvard. On a side note, it was hilarious when I reminded them that he was the child of a faculty member, different last names. They looked stunned. I felt even more proud. He got in completely on his own merits and not those of his father's.

He thanked me in his speech, for being there for him, for encouraging him, for making sure he knew he could do anything. I could feel the heat in my cheeks.

Then he talked about how they had to live each day and that you never know what the future brings. People die. Life goes on. They were entering a new phase of their lives. It was time to go forward and succeed and make our loved ones proud. I felt the tears rolling down my cheek, slowly descending, thinking of you and how much this moment would mean to you.

After the speech, I told him I was certain he made you proud.

Love,

Spencer

**Sept 18, 2029**

Dear Aaron,

Today I was awarded the John Reeves award for Academic Excellence. I've gotten awards before, but this one felt more personal. It was for contributions to law enforcement. It was for my research into preventing serial killers from emerging.

I have been working with several professors across several disciplines, gathering data, tracing back and trying to determine who is at risk from stressors. We are trying to form educational strategies, to teach these at risk individuals how to cope, or at least how to determine if they should seek help. I guess I got the idea for the research from Nathan Harris all those years ago. We didn't know how to help him then.

It will be years before we can measure if the research has helped, but the research is solid.

Prentiss and Morgan came to support me, and it was nice to see them. Prentiss' hair was streaked with grey. She showed me pictures of her fourteen year old, Ella.

Morgan had more wrinkles around the eyes, although they seemed to be as much from smiling as from the stress of the job.

I thought of you a lot tonight, of our early days together as I listened to the speeches. Here is what I said in mine.

"Despite the evil I was forced to witness during my years in the FBI, the depraved behavior I was forced to analyze and understand, I feel lucky that I had that experience. I was young, and the people around me were my mentors; they taught me how to deal with the darkness and how to combat it.

There was one person in particular, Aaron Hotchner, my unit chief, my friend, and my life partner that showed me what we are fighting for. He died fighting that battle. His death led me here.

I miss him every day, but I hope this research will lead to no one else being deprived of a love one due to violent crime."

I love you Aaron,

Spencer


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N **

**Title:** **Dear Aaron**

**Author:** **Ihli**

**Rating/Warnings:** ** M/Angst, Slash**

**Pairing:** **Hotch/Reid**

**Summary: A gunshot rang out, a lung was punctured. The survivors must pick up the pieces. Spencer must go on, for Jack. H/R established relationship**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters I just like to play with them sometimes. I promise to put them back where I found them.**

**Hello All, **

**The reviews from all of you have been really inspiring! This is chapter 3 of 4. Please review.**

**Thanks to RogueStorm84 and The Shameless BookWorm for Beta'ing this chapter! All mistakes are mine.**

**CMCMCMCMCM**

**Chapter 3 **

**July 12, 2031**

Dear Aaron,

I really missed you today. Jack married Ana Luiza. The ceremony was beautiful. It was held in a Brazilian Catholic Church in Framingham, MA. Her parents insisted on a traditional wedding, and she seemed to want that as well, so I agreed.

Watching Jack watch her walk down the aisle was so sweet and thrilling. He grinned from ear to ear. His eyes glistened as he watched her approach him.

She really is lovely. Her skin is the color of sand on the beach on a glowing summer day; her long straight hair shines like anthracite. Today, she wore it tied up in intricate knots; it must have taken hours for her to prepare.

The reception was amazing. There was so much food and dancing. I didn't even know Jack could dance the Samba. I drank a few sips of Capirtinha. It was so delicious and sweet. I knew I better slow down. I did not want to risk getting drunk.

I probably ate too many casadinhos, too, but you know how I love cookies.

I danced with Ana Luiza as the father of the groom. She told me they hoped to have children relatively soon. I can't imagine. I never expected to be a father and now, I am considering being a grandfather. It should have been you here today. You would have known the right thing to say to her.

And you would have known the right thing to say to Jack. I took him aside at one point. I said, 'Jack, you have made me so proud. You are a capable Med student, and I know you will make an excellent Doctor. Treasure the moments with your wife. Cherish everything. It all happens so fast. Love with abandon and feel joy. You deserve it.'

Did I do it right? All of it? Our son is grown and my job raising him is done. Did I make you proud?

Love,

Spencer

**May 14, 2035**

Dear Aaron,

He's finally here. Aaron Mateus Hotchner. He was born at 2:57 am and weighed 7 lb, 6 oz. He gave a good healthy cry and after a few misses, managed to latch on and nurse well. Mother and baby are doing fine. Ana Luiza's mother is beside herself at being a grandmother and hovers.

Her father and I stand back, proud.

I never really got to be involved with Jack when he was a baby, so I feel useless. I read all of the current baby books last week to prepare but no matter how far we have come there is still no right way to parent. The books are filled with contradictions; they contradict themselves and each other.

I held him briefly. He was so tiny as he slept. I'm told it is hard work being born. That is one memory I don't have.

I think he has your eyes and his mother's skin. He had a puff of black hair. He looked like a little wrinkled old man. In other words, he was perfect.

All my love,

Spencer

**July 8, 2037**

Dear Aaron,

I babysat our grandson today on pins and needles. He was fussy and insisted on being held. I think he knows something big is happening. He senses the change in the air.

Isabella Hope Hotchner was born at 6:22 am. She weighed six pounds eight ounces. She needed a few puffs of oxygen but then pinked up. We are going over to see her soon.

A son and a daughter. Jack is…blessed. I am still uncertain about the whole concept of deity, but Jack seems to have settled well into his wife's faith, Catholicism. He ignores the church's teaching about homosexuality. He says God brought me into your life to bring me into his. I don't know. I like the idea that you are in heaven watching over us and reading these letters. It brings me comfort to imagine that one day, you and I will be reunited.

Aaron is hungry. I better feed him before he gets cranky.

Love,

Spencer

**Dec 2, 2037**

Dear Aaron,

I'm sorry about the wet splotches on the paper. I just…I just buried my mother. She passed away quietly in her sleep two days ago.

Jack and I went to see to her arrangements. Ana Luiza stayed behind with the children. They never met great grandma, and this would be too confusing.

You should see the papers she has gathered over the years. Half contain brilliant insights into the human condition. The others contain the paranoid ramblings of a classic schizophrenic.

Of course, sometimes, it is hard to tell which is which.

It took me 23 minutes to decipher the puzzle lock she used to protect these prize possessions. It was quite devious. My mother was nothing if not brilliant. I will miss her. I hope she finds peace if there is an afterlife.

I had been visiting more in the last couple years, bringing her pictures of the babies. She seemed to get such joy from that. It inspired some lucid moments.

I like to think I made peace with my decision to commit her all those years ago. I will even concede that I probably should have done it sooner. It was the right thing.

It's amazing how age and time put things like that in perspective.

Here come the tears again. I do not like death. It has a permanence and finality to it. It means never seeing someone again.

It means never being held in your arms again.

I miss you,

Spencer


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N **

**Title:** **Dear Aaron**

**Author:** **Ihli**

**Rating/Warnings:** ** M/Angst, Slash**

**Pairing:** **Hotch/Reid**

**Summary: A gunshot rang out, a lung was punctured. The survivors must pick up the pieces. Spencer must go on, for Jack. H/R established relationship**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters I just like to play with them sometimes. I promise to put them back where I found them.**

**Hello All, **

**Thanks again for all of the reviews! They keep me writing. I also appreciate all of the favorites and alerts! This is the conclusion of this story. Please review.**

**Thanks to RogueStorm84 and The Shameless BookWorm for Beta'ing this chapter! All mistakes are mine.**

**Chapter 4**

** March 18, 2061**

Dear Aaron

Our grandson is married. Today was Aaron's wedding. It was a beautiful affair. I had to walk with a cane. When did I get so old that I could not dance at a wedding?

I sat at a table of honor with Jack and Ana Luiza. I felt bad hogging the father of the groom but he seemed to want to stay close. I think he sensed the turning of the circle of life in this. He is well aware that I am eighty years old. My mind has slowed. I now only read 10000 words a minute. I know others should be so lucky.

But it is different for me. It shows how much…less I am.

Isabella was happy for her brother although she is a bit jealous of the attention. I don't think we will have long to wait before it is her turn. Her boyfriend Reg had a thoughtful look on his face. Unless I have lost all of my skills as a profiler, she will be engaged soon.

I miss teaching. Even though I still have an office at Harvard, I don't really go in much. I guess I am in the twilight of my years. Who would have thought I would have lived long enough to be old? Certainly medical technology has come a long way. I really got to live well so much longer.

Love,

Spencer

**Oct 18, 2064**

Dear Aaron

Well, today we officially became great grandfathers. That's right, Aaron and his wife Rose had a girl Leah Angel Hotchner. She was 8 lb and 12 ounces. That's huge. I don't think I will make it to the hospital. I don't get out much these days. They said they will bring her by in a few weeks.

My life has gotten so much simpler. How do the days still feel so full? It's an accomplishment if I get up, dress, eat three meals, change for bed and sleep every day.

When did I get so old? Would you still love me if you saw the wrinkled old man I have become? There was a certain blessing to you having died so young. Grey never streaked your hair. The strength never left your body. You went out strong like the Adonis you are.

I miss you,

Spencer

**July 6, 2065**

Dear Aaron,

I hurt. My body aches, everywhere. I hate complainers. I don't think I have much time left. Will you be there waiting for me when I leave this life? Will I be young again or am I destined to be this shell that I have become while you are in your prime?

Or will it be like that movie _Defending Your Life?_ where the goal is to overcome fear? Will you have moved on to the next stage? Did leaving the FBI condemn me to another go around? I don't want another go around without you.

Don't get me wrong. It's been an amazing journey. I have gotten to see and do so many things and I am surrounded by a family that loves me. I can now say with certainty that I did not follow in my mother's footsteps.

But now I am tired. I just want to sleep…

**August 1, 2012**

What's that noise? _Beep, Beep_. It sounds like a heart monitor. Didn't that technology become obsolete in the forties? I thought it was over. I thought I died. _Beep, Beep_. Pain. Not the ache all over my body as it systemically shuts down.

Sharper, in my side. I feel the whish of oxygen across my nostrils. It hurts to breath.

I feel a pressure on my hand, warm and inviting; it is being held. Hair brushes across the back of it. Has Jack come to visit me at the end? I didn't want him to see me die. I want him to remember me as I lived.

I slowly open my eyes; it is light outside, but only a little peeks in through drawn curtains. This does not look like my room. The drawn curtain, the white sheets. I have been moved to a hospital. They have prevented my death for another day.

I look down at the person sleeping with his head down on the edge of my bed. It looks like Jack, but it can't be. The hair is not streaked with gray. Has my grandson come then?

I try to move, but the pain in my side is too much. However, the motion has woken my visitor.

The face lifts and scratchy eyes peer at me. They are the color of rich black coffee, and they light a little when they look at me.

"Spencer, you're awake."

I am staring. I don't know what to say. This is not my grandson. This is not my son. This is Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner. How can this be?

"Am I dead?" He smiles at that.

"Almost, but the doctors saved you."

"What? How?"

"You were shot; it punctured a lung. They got to you in time, but you have been in a coma for three days."

"What? No, you were shot. You died. I lost you. I raised our son. We have grandchildren, great grandchildren."

"No, Spencer. It must have been a dream while you were in the coma. The unsub shot you. Morgan shot him. I rode with you in the ambulance, holding your hand, praying you wouldn't die. Praying you wouldn't leave me."

The tears fell from Aaron's eyes as I watched. I could feel a similar wetness on my face. We had each been through our own version of hell.

"You're really alive. I'm not old?"

"Yes, babe. You are only thirty, that's definitely not old."

"I missed you so much." I am openly crying now. I lived a lifetime without this man. It was a nightmare, and it was over.

"I'm just glad you're awake. I missed you, too."

"Aaron?"

"Yes, Spencer."

"Always know how much I love you."

His eyes got soft at that. I felt a warm pressure on my hand.

"I love you, too."

The End

**I hope you all enjoyed the ending. I really enjoyed writing this story. Next up for me, I am getting close on Chosen Mate – This is a Hotch/Reid AU with werewolves. I am also working on my assignment for Challenge 17 for COOAC. I'm not sure which will get posted first. **

**Thanks and please review!**


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